to boldly go to the hairdresser

Kes really had the absolute worst hairstyle of anyone on Star Trek, didn’t she? Perpetually at the “awkward growing out stage” and the colour is just awful. I mean, did she get Neelix to bleach it?


Gross. And with those weird high necks and overly textured t-shirts, poor Kes had possibly the most dated look in the series (at least since Dr Crusher’s massive shoulder pads). On the other hand Lieutenant Torres is a close second in the bad hair stakes for the sub-Tyra Banks join between her wig and Klingon forehead. Ugh, and don’t get me started on Uhura’s weave in the 2009 film. How can you maintain hair like that on an away mission? A Romulan could rip that ponytail right off her head with ease, it was somehow even tackier and less appropriate than the beehives and bouffants of the series that movie was based on.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve written about the stylishness of Star Trek and I’m sure it won’t be the last. If I was to put together a list of my All Time Top Ten Star Trek Looks then it would more than likely be all random extras and aliens from the Original Series: the tiny budget resulted in some brilliantly weird fabric choices and the look of the show was more kaleidoscopic than realistic. Also, there’s one episode where Yeoman Rand has this beehive that is woven, like a basket. It’s bonkers and wonderful. That said, Dr Crusher’s proto-Florence hair colour was gorgeous by anyone’s standards, and I kind of love Seven of Nine’s chignon and natural looking make-up. If only more fashion magazines were written by Trekkies, her picture would look great next to an article about “effortless Parisian chic” or something.


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